been so busy with friends and things (always a good thing) but i haven't had as much time to update the site. i thought having a laptop again would help me with working on the site on the go and update it more frequently to get the blog vibes i sort of want the site to actually have but onedrive is the WORST so anyway my site doesn't sync across my laptop and my main computer, so i prefer to work on it at my main computer because i have a fancy mechanical keyboard that i like to type on. but because i have been so busy, i've been out of the house more often, and haven't wanted to sit at my desk to update the site whenever i'm back when i could be on the couch instead.
speaking of the couch, i got the tsukihime remake on my switch and i have been enjoying it. also, it is pool season and it's really hot here! but good news: i have an AC unit in my bedroom finally! the salty-sweet umami rice crackers from trader joe's are my current snack addiction, and i cannot recommend them enough. not related to tsukihime or AC or summer heat, but they are soo good.
in 2012-2013 i was really into lolita fashion in theory, but could not afford it obviously. i've been getting back into it and am looking forward to making a few coords, dysphoria permitting, and simply letting myself be frilly and doll-like every once in a while. i hope it all works out. i will probably inevitably dedicate a page on the site to it + my closet if it ends up being something i want to pursue. anyway, another reason i haven't done much on the site lately is because i've been windowshopping and scouring secondhand sites for deals.
how has it already been like a month since i last said something here... i don't really have anything to say, i've been pretty busy and doing lots of irl social things which is a big change from my norm. whatever grease had to say about summer nights, etc.. watched velvet goldmine last night, i really liked it. coveting the tsukihime remake but hoping to stave out the 'want new video game' disease in the hopes that we get it on steam in the next year or so so i can just play it on my steam deck, which i much prefer to my nintendo switch on account of my switch always running out of space on the SD card and my not wanting to buy a new one. outside of that, i've been listening to a lot of visual kei bands again and looking back into stuff about that subculture, which has been fun, and also led me down a rabbit hole of watching videos about other subcultures, meaning i've gotten a lot of youtube recs about tiktok drama circumventing goth gatekeeping et cetera. to which i say: wearing tripp pants but not knowing who bauhaus is a goth does not make.
went to go see the matrix on a big screen yesterday. unfortunately we got rained out since it was an outdoor showing but even then seeing what we could of it on a huge screen like that felt awesome. the matrix was a movie that i was obsessed with as a kid but it's been a few years since i last saw it so it was cool going back to it and remembering and appreciating how much fun it is. cheesy in all the right ways but deeply serious and genuine about its intent, the cinematography is crazy, the fashion, the now retro-futurism vibes (the floppy disks! the brick-like nokia phones!) are second to none.
i turn 25 today! it's only 9:02 AM (as of the time of writing this) here so i don't know if i really have any thoughts on it at the moment. 25 feels like a milestone in some ways, that's 1/4th of the way to 100, and admittedly it's a little hard not to be kind of like O_O over it. but i guess part of being an adult is being like well, it's my birthday, that's all there is to it! lol. not to say i'm not excited or anything, i've got some dinner plans tonight and some grill plans on sunday with some friends, and everyone has been so kind as usual. but i guess i don't have any more thoughts beyond the usual "yay thanks"! anyway, here's to another year, and here's to many more ♡
there's a real problem with the over-aestheticization of japanese culture on neocities, or other oldweb-themed sites in general. i get it's "nostalgic" to theme your site after a 2008 otaku who calls themselves kawaii desu~, but it's insane how many sites slap buttons with hiragana and katakana all around them just because it looks "old web" and "aesthetic" to them like hiragana is a now-defunct alphabet or something and japanese websites weren't exposed to the same desanitization as western websites over the years. i don't think this critique applies to people who have lots of anime pngs or japanese mascots on their pages, but there's definitely a huge overlap of people doing that with people who i think are guilty of fetishizing something as simple as an alphabet lol...
on one hand do what makes you happy and sparks joy, but i wish people would more seriously consider *why* otaku culture from 2008 was left behind and it wasn't because lucky star is "cringe" or something. some things are better left in the past.
i have been coveting the code geass clamp works figure of lelouch and suzaku (the one where they have a joined earring) for years now. it's pretty much the only figure i've ever really desired (although i do own some others now lol) and...well...i finally own it!!! it still cost a pretty penny but since in-box figures are going for like 500-700 dollars these days (ouch) i was ecstatic when i managed to find one marketed as a junk figure for much cheaper than that. and it's here and on display and it's absolutely beautiful. the only reason i can think of why it was marketed as junk is because it shows light signs of it being displayed, but it's not that noticeable at all unless you're like right up close and staring at it. i'm so happy to have this grail now. and hopefully maybe this will curb me wanting to buy any other figures at cons and stuff lol.
wow a lot of time already went by since i last wrote something down here.i guess that's good because i've been worried it'll be a mile long before the end of the year. been watching evangelion for the first time in...a while. i watched it in 2014 and then tried a rewatch in 2018 but fell off around episode 18--now i'm on episode 23, so i'm basically homebound. it's weird going back to something as viscerally psychological as evangelion, especially since i was about the age of the kids when i first watched it. and now i'm an adult--not quite as old as misato is (29), but still, the experiences and age is enough to give me a markedly different way of watching the show. i used to not give a damn about misato + kaji + ritsuko and least of all gendo and yui's romance, and now those elements are far more compelling to me.
psychopomp is a pretty cool little game. recommend if you like rpgmaker titles of old like OFF and yume nikki. the controls are a little wonky and take some getting used to, but it's free, so, can't really complain.
been in a music slump lately. kind of bored of most of the stuff i've been listening to. i really gotta go on a bandcamp deep-dive again since that seems to be what inspires me the most.
my absence from tweaking the site is basically explained by the fact that i got lucky enough to get a referral code to grundo's cafe, a neopets clone that is more oriented around Ye Olden Days neopets while catering to a smaller community. i absolutely love it. it's been really fun to play on and paintbrush goals and stuff feel completely attainable, so it's nice to be able to dabble more in stuff like avatar collecting and restocking rare items without feeling like i'll never have the pet of my dreams. so all my time has been spent hitting refresh on the spooky foods store lol. outside of that, i found an apartment! so now i have to get ready for the move and stuff and start collecting boxes. i found such a nice space with the biggest balcony i could ever ask for, parking is included in my rent, it's somehow cheaper than the place i'm living in now...i can't help but feel so grateful and so lucky and i'm excited to be moving, although it's gonna be time consuming...haven't even had the time to read and no energy to really play any games. i tried starting dishonored but i'm not vibing with the gameplay much so i might watch an LP of it because the worldbuilding has me quite intrigued. also, i went to a showing of this 90s italian horror comedy called cemetery man with some friends and it absolutely ruled. i'm so glad to be watching all these awesome movies and expand my cinematic horizons.
getting ready to move but it being the months leading up to my lease expiring is always a bit stressful. trying to find places and knowing you can't sign a new one bc it's too expensive and then worrying the place might be gone by the time my lease actually runs out is always annoying to keep track of. i'm still playing neopets a bunch and got a referral code to grundo's cafe--thinking of making a page for those whenever i feel up to it. i keep meaning to make my silent hill shrine and i haven't done that yet though either...also thinking of adding a bookshelf because i really hate the UI of goodreads, thestorygraph, literal etc.. and there's no real way to keep track of books i think are interesting but don't own yet vs the books on my shelf that i have yet to read. thinking an html file kind of like my music collection might help with that.
still can't get phantom thread out of my head. i gotta rewatch it asap
i keep going through phases with playing neopets and today that was about all i did. a lot of my goals are unattainable again, which is kind of annoying, but it's always fun to open the game up again and just do my dailies for a bit. when will a starry shoyru be mine...
my friends and i watched phantom thread the other day and i have NOT been able to get that last scene out of my head. everything about it is so crazy. knowing alma isn't going to leave reynolds but isn't quite able to fight back on terms she wants until the end when she finally breaks past the veneer to force him into vulnerability and he just accepts it for what it is and only then can he really truly fall in love with her. he wants so badly to have his walls broken down but refuses in every way to let that happen so her poisoning him and taking violent means to do so is effectively proof of her dedication. crazy movie. loved it
how are we already 9 days into 2024? that's crazy. it's been a slow start to the year here but i guess that makes sense what with holidays and all. i already have given up on my take a note planner :( which is a bummer since i was very excited for it, but i quickly realized having the week split across multiple days just didnt work well for my planning style even with the small weekly overview on the first page. so i've been working in a small nolty planner that has a layout akin to a hobonichi weeks (and for a third of the price) and that's been way better for my planning style. i hope i can find a use for the take a note, maybe i'll use it for like. a doodle a day or something. i don't want to let it go to waste! AND i just haven't been drawing much. my poor art blog has been wasting away with me uploading occasional old sketches i don't feel like working on anymore. but i've been reading more poetry and stuff in favor of drawing, so i don't feel too bad about not doing anything at least.
also been thinking about how i'd like to incorporate dithering into my site more so pics load faster. i don't have a real problem with anything loading (yet) but i'd like to address it before i have a bunch of stuff up. hmmm.