*** 2.20.25, on cruising (the movie!! lmao).
on valentine's day the boyfriend and i went to go see a sold-out (!!) screening of cruising starring al pacino at our local independent theater nd i have not been able to stop thinking about the movie once since we saw it. i kind of expected to feel sort of whatever about it but i absolutely loved it and think it's pretty damn brilliant. just absurd enough to keep me on my toes and yet quite grounded. i get why people didn't like it at the time it was coming out but i think it's totally worth going back to. we liked it so much we bought the blu-ray in the lobby, resulting in me having a truly bizarre but admirable tiny collection of blu-rays and dvds (i have 5 at the time of writing this; the thing, akira, american psycho, star wars episode III, and alien).
*** 2.6.25, hello.
one whole month already. can't believe i was updating as often as i was in nov-dec and now it's been a month without me touching this section. this time of year always feels too fast and yet unbelievably stagnant too. i wish i could say i do less entries here because i'm keeping track of time in my hobonichi but i've been pretty bad about keeping up with it (although i've been trying to backfill and just take up the space i haven't been using with stickers). existing is hard in the way that i sleep in far too long and work and am exhausted after work and then i have to go to bed; chores falling to the wayside, my body something i can't really hold up. i've been writing more but nothing personal or large-scale but it's nice to at least feel like i'm still being creative.
*** 1.2.25, happy new year.
i cut my thumb on a chestnut yesterday trying to peel it open. i don't know why this feels like a sign for the year, but it does--not a good or a bad one or a promise of things to come per se, but a summary in a nutshell. or whatever hamlet* said. something about the serendipity of it. i don't know why i want to call it serendipitious, but it feels that way to me. when i was out drinking on new years our bartender excitedly told us that our year was going to be good because our total came out to be something like 56.66 and she thought the 666 was also serendipitious, then tried to explain that she loves numerology and doesn't think 666 is a scary number. to her it's the "human" number. it highlights an intentionality on the physical and seemingly mundane. i thought it was a bit of a funny thing to explain to two queer people to not be afraid of 666--i can promise you despite my obsessive compulsions i have no fear of a number anymore, HIM beat that out of me with the song "your sweet 666" years ago. but more importantly i thought it was very sweet of her, i like her a lot and usually see her working there whenever i go. next time i will have to ask her what her favorite number combo is. i feel closer and closer to people every year and i'm thankful for it. anyway, may this year treat everyone well, i'm sure i'll update if my chestnut sign-from-whereever amounts to anything.
*act 2, scene 2: "O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a
king of infinite space—were it not that I have bad dreams."