the idea for the observations page came from vashti, who in turn was inspired by marie howe. updates to this page come sporadically as i add on to them in my code editor and upload whenever i feel like it!

12.19.24: days off from everything--peace and quiet save for the fan on my laptop. buldak carbonara ramen the go-to meal my last week.

12.9.24: everything is fuzzy at the edges except for when i am in direct light.

12.4.24: earbuds tangled around my mp3 player.

12.2.24: frothy bubbles on the surface of my matcha. i burned my thumb on the underside of the bowl.

11.30.24: my train home hit a car. the driver was unhurt so i felt relieved about being able to be annoyed at them for running the train light.

11.28.24: the airport is empty.

11.27.24: trying to get into swans again--this time it's soundtracks for the blind. if you don't give this album your full attention and let yourself be mesmerized the album will tell you to fuck off and go drown yourself in the wall of sound. i'm on song 6 out of 26 and all i can say to myself is "holy fucking shit" over and over again. (anything more than this and it won't become an observation. it probably isn't one already)

11.26.24: struggling to remember to observe and document said observation.

11.24.24: the day began warm but the wind was blowing so hard on my walk i could feel my weak knee wobbling underneath the strain.

11.23.24: "like the naked leads the blind / i know i'm selfish, i'm unkind / sucker love i always find / someone to bruise and leave behind."

11.22.24: trying on all my shoes again, seeking, feeling for something to be wrong.

11.21.24: american horror story: apocalypse as sports game-like entertainment at the local metal bar. the people sitting behind us were quite rude.

11.18.24: eternally cold hands

11.16.24: wistful for rest. sun and sleep.

11.15.24: young teen standing behind us excitedly singing along with a punk band's cover of what's new scooby doo?.

11.7.24: fleece knee-length bloomers + massively oversized sweater; i feel very like myself today

11.6.24: the way my boyfriend's face lit up when i wore the hat he's spent the last few months crocheting for me.

11.5.24: i ordered a jsk from xianyu and it arrived today. the seller included a novelty candle of a cat, white with pink ears and silver glue-on crystals for eyes. i'm rather struck by this kindness. and the vague scent of what i think is peach.

11.4.24: snow!

11.3.24: warmth when i was cold and the sun always bothers my eyes.

10.30.24: the first freeze warning. the first day i can light a candle and really revel in it feeling weather-appropriate.

10.28.24: i need to be better about letting myself use things until (and especially if) they break.

10.25.24: shyness in feeling. i had kimchi delivered today

10.23.24: it's cold today. can't stop thinking about how desensitized i've become to weather since i work from home and how wrong that feels.

10.22.24: new music. not loud enough.

10.16.24: an unspoken prayer of gratitude for sesame oil.

10.15.24: happiness in a jar i don't know how to shake. (note to self: does this count as an observation?)

10.14.24: one lone dandelion on the grass in the corner.

10.13.24: went out of my way to stomp on some especially crunchy leaves. rice with furikake + crunchy jalapeno bits + sesame oil.

10.11.14: dread, for some reason.

10.7.24: went to bad last night feeling wholly hopeless--what a relief to wake up feeling fine.

10.4.24: a tomato carcass in the soup i made for lunch.

10.1.24: too-sweet coffee left over from yesterday first thing in the morning.

9.30.24: i keep waking up in the middle of the night

9.28.24: went to a goth night and heard exactly zero goth tracks.

9.26.24: tired. been in my pjs every day until 4pm or so.

9.25.24: roasted some squash today. put too much cayenne on it.

9.22.24: it was cool enough today to wear my leather trenchcoat. the leaves are starting to change colors too

9.20.24: i haven't been taking pictures lately.

9.13.24: last night my boyfriend and i went to a punk(ish) show. the dive bar it was at had beau travail playing on the screen. we kept asking "is that criterion channel?" until sure enough the criterion logo popped up, confirming that this dive bar had a subscription. the second band that played opened their set with "we're nickelback."

9.7.24: i wore egl outside today for the first time. i felt surprisingly confident about it; a woman even stopped mid-walk to gesture at my outfit and said "yes!". another while walking by said "i love this," to me.

9.6.24: i've been up since 3:45 am today. i stared at my phone clock from 5:30-6:00 until i finally decided to get out of bed.

9.2.24: after being inside for a whole weekend i was shocked by just how hot it was when i stepped outside.

8.12.24: while i was driving home and stuck at a stoplight a guy walked into the middle of the street to gesture to the car next to me trying to get them to turn their headlights on. then he gave a big thumbs up and a grin and ran out of the street when the person realized what he was trying to do.

8.11.24: when i took out the trash this morning i saw a ziploc baggie on the ground next to the dumpster overflowing with mostly-alive roses. when i went back out later there were only 2 of those mostly-alive roses left on the ground.

8.7.24: my main ac unit is always buzzing too loud. i can't seem to drown it out ever.