*** 1.19.26, studio event (18+).
partner & i went to our first proper class at a local rope studio. we've gone to some tasting and kink events in the past at various clubs and the like, but haven't been to an actual wholly-dedicated space/studio for it where you can take classes and do workshops and things. i was in a pretty antisocial mood and was not wanting to talk to anyone at all like pretty much all day but i ended up having a good time so i'm glad i went. the benefit of these kinds of workshops is that you can just kind of do your own thing and not talk to anyone and people will leave you alone because they're also too preoccupied with their partners. it was nice to not be expected to do anything except offer out my arm to my partner so they could practice a single column tie. it kind of reminded me of going to the gym to weightlift back when i was more serious about that--everyone is too focused on themselves and their immediate companions and skill-amassing to pay attention to you (which is a good thing if you're new or shy or, like me, don't/didn't want to talk to anyone but want(ed) to be in the space lol)
being in a space for it made me realize how much i do want to actually pursue this sort of thing as a community-oriented hobby, at least insofar as rope goes, who knows about the other stuff lol. but i have a real respect for the people leading the workshop and have the patience to learn and fiddle with different knots and the like to get into the artistry of it all. if 2025 was the year of branching into the music scene and finding a music-oriented comm built around goth and industrial i guess 2026 might very easily become the year of the rope bondage-oriented comm lol. we're going back to the open lab to practice, which i'm looking forward to; hopefully i'm not in as much of an antisocial/overstimulated/idontknow-whatwasgoingon mood and can enjoy it more actively and maybe talk to some people this time.
not sure how much i'll talk about this kind of thing on here, but i think acting like this stuff can't or shouldn't be discussed in public (adult) avenues is stupid, and i wanted to at least document my first foray into a wholly dedicated space for it. i've been kind of bored at the tastings i've gone to in the past at clubs, or at least found them very unsexy and not very interesting, but i really enjoyed my time at this studio.
*** 1.12.26, excerpt from an email i wrote.
"i don't have any equally crazy stories to share unfortunately, but i have one that comes probably to the halfway mark. i was in a coord walking thru the park but i had forgotten to eat a meal and suddenly got really, really exhausted and felt like i was going to faint, so i turned around and started walking home. i was sweating like crazy, i think because my body was exerting so much energy to make sure i wasn't going to fall over, and as i passed a sidewalk in the park a guy walked by me and then turned around to be like "excuse me! your energy is incredible. wow. amazing energy. also, your outfit is amazing too. i just have to know, how do you have such amazing energy?" and i was like "(trying not to fall over) oh idk..." lol. he was really nice about it though, like super genuine, he wasn't trying to be a creep, so it was a nice convo, just a funny starter. he kept going: "i do meditation and yoga so i can pick up on people's energy like that (he snapped his fingers) and yours is just...wow. do other people tell you this?" "uhhh, no," i said. "well that's a shame. really?" he replied, "i was just hit with your amazing energy and then i saw your outfit and was like: wow, yeah, no wonder your energy is so awesome!"
his outfit was pretty awesome too, he was wearing a nice blazer and a blue tartan wool scarf that he had folded really nicely instead of haphazardly draping it. of course the whole thing ended with him talking about wanting to invite people to an electronic dance party. [...] anyway after that i went home and devoured a meal and felt much better. [...] [i mostly thought it was so funny that] my energy was so awesome apparently and meanwhile i was like half-sick with the effort of just trying to stand up lol"
*** 1.7.26, hi.
i got sick a few days ago but luckily i'm almost fully recovered. either way, not a great start to the new year lol. pathologic 3 comes out on friday, i'm very excited (never mind that i still have to beat silent hill F and a few other games too...). kinda can't believe we're finally getting it after all these years although i won't lie i'm dreading the influx of video essays that will come out and thus create a revival of pathologic "fans" who have never actually played or watched a LP of the games themselves. it's honestly so annoying trying to talk about these games with anyone because 99% of the time they just regurgitate stuff from hbomberguy or codex entry's videos like that gives them any actual insight (codex entry's video is pretty good...i haven't seen hbomberguy's video though and honestly i have a bit of a vendetta against it for making pathologic so popular in this way even though i'm sure it's fine lol)